So for the past SEVERAL months, I've been toying with the idea of getting Jackson to fall asleep on his own. How was I planning on doing it? I'm wasn't really sure, but I've known that it needs to be done quick before baby #2 comes. No more just thinking about it. I actually have to follow through with it. *Sigh* Scary! Jackson's not such a bad sleeper...most days...but it's the fact that I have to be holding him or rocking him for the little guy to finally go to sleep. And he has to be COMPLETELY out or else as soon as his back hits the crib, he wakes up and has to be rocked more. So, lately, our routine has been this: bath, and watch t.v. until he goes to sleep. Most of the time I have to be the one to hold him. That's just what he likes. I don't want to have to deal with two babies needing me all the time. Trapper thinks that the t.v. thing isn't that bad of a deal, and I started to agree with him. HOWEVER, last night, somewhere between 12:30am and 2:45am, I changed my mind. He woke up and was wide awake! And OF COURSE i have to rock him. But this time, instead of falling right back to sleep, he fidgeted and would sit up and then lay back down (this entire time having his eyes closed or at least halfway closed). I tried to lay him back down in his crib a couple of times, but each time, he woke up and cried for me. I tried to let him cry it out for about 5-10 minutes to see if that would wear him out, but it didn't. He ended up in our bed for about 15 minutes, but he rolled around too much for ME to get any sleep. I asked Trapper to try putting him in bed. I thought that maybe if if was someone else putting him to bed, Jackson would stay asleep. Uh Uh. Not the case. Fed up, I took him from Trapper and put him back in his crib and let him cry. Sounds harsh, but I know I'm a good mother and he's not damaged for life by it, so if you think that was wrong, I don't care. I sat in the rocking chair next to his crib so he'd know I was close by. Lo! And behold, after 2 minutes, he stopped crying and went to sleep. I assume he was just so tired by this time that he couldn't keep it up. I thanked the Lord and went to bed until he woke up again at 6:45am. So because of this, I am going to do my best to change his sleeping habits. I checked out a couple of books at the library and am studying up for tonight. Even though I will miss my favorite shows during this time to implement the new bedtime routine, I really could care less. Sleep is WAY too important, for me and Jackson. I can understand why Trapper would want to keep Jackson out with us watching t.v. He doesn't get home until after 6pm and then 7pm is bathtime and then bedtime is 8pm. The amount of time with his son is so limited. So I understand, but the stress on me and the bad habits we're setting for Jackson has come to the end of its rope.
I plead for any advice, encouragement or support you have to give as I struggle with this transition. I will keep you all updated on our progress.
8 comments:
Since Jack was about 4 months old we've had him put himself to sleep. It’s okay to let them cry themselves to sleep. Just reassure them every 10-15 minutes that you haven’t abandoned them. I’m sorry if anyone thinks that’s wrong but they really do need to learn healthy sleep habits. You can checkout Babywise by Gary Ezzo for a few more ideas. If anything it can help with the new baby as well. That's what we've used with Jack because we were totally clueless with Trey and he was not a good sleeper at all. Good for you on getting some different ideas. Because YOU are the mom and you are the one that knows what is best. I swear kids sleeping problems are the most frustrating thing ever! Good luck!
Still not sure if you remember me or not (we were in the BYU-I 69th ward and in University Village) ANYWAY,this is always a hard thing! It was the hardest with Livi b/c she was the first and we always held her or rocked her to sleep too.
One thing that Super Nanny tried (and we ended up doing) was ROUTINE. After you finish your routine with him, sit next to his crib (don't talk, look at him, nothing), then the next night sit further away from the crib, closer to the door. Do this every night until he doesn't need you there anymore. Needless to say, it took a while, but worked.
Oh, and with Spencer (#2) we did Babywise and it worked like a charm!
Date nights can be a bit tricky at first. Basically once a routine is made, it is easy to keep, even with babysitters. If you have someone that is babysitting for you..invite them over a little earlier or at least get your little guy USED to them beforehand. On the other hand, if Jackson is REALLY anti-other people then it is going to take a bit longer...Good luck!
Also, maybe Trapper will remember Luke, he was the Elder's Quorum President in the 69th ward. We lived in #301 at UV...it was such a long time ago, I understand..but I'm just glad you don't think I am some crazy person frequenting your blog! :)
I agree with everything mentioned above. Crying does not damage them. If it did, I'd be in a world of trouble because I cannot clone myself to take care of my two crying babies at the same time. They just have to cry it out sometimes & they are happy, healthy, well adjusted babies. I would STRONGLY recommend babywise for baby #2. I did it with my babies & they slept through the night at 11 weeks. They sleep 11-12 hours a night now at 8 months. I spend plenty of time holding them, rocking them, & loving them; just not when it's time for them to be asleep. We do cuddles while they're away but I started ALWAYS putting them to bed awake at about 1 month old. The independence is good for them & the sleep & time with your hubby is good for you. Good luck!
Wow, 2 minutes is not bad at all! Boston has had bad sleep habits in his past, and would scream for at least 45 min to 2 hours before giving up! My biggest problem is that he's a climber, and learned how to climb out of his crib at 15 months! AHHHHH!... Crying it out always hurts the parents more than the kids! Good luck, you'll do great!
Keep doing the routine (without TV) and putting him down drowsy, but not asleep. And let him cry if he does. It seems like FOREVER, but most kids only cry for a short time. Before you know it, he should be sleeping great.
But remember, YOU are the mom and know what is best. Trust yourself. :)
Crying is a good thing it is okay. You can let them cry for an hour without doing any harm to them. It is more harmful to not get sleep then to let them cry it out. It is hard for a few nights but eventually he will know that when he is in his crib he sleeps. I would wait to do dishes until I put Reve down and while he was in his crib crying I would wash all the dishes and then after so long go in and help him. It will be harder on you after #2 comes along.
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