Good Game!

A friend of my gave me a Chutes and Ladders" game as a late birthday present to Jackson, so we've been playing that quite a bit lately. Before "Chutes and Ladders" we always played Uno Spin. He's pretty good at it too! It was getting old though, so getting a new game was refreshing. Today we played four times during Braden's nap. To give you an idea of the competitiveness in our household, let me go back a little.

This is me when I was about 10 years old. My family's really into baseball. We have a lot of great memories playing baseball in our backyard and going to each other's games.

Once, I was on a team called The Nightmares. I knew I was good, but my problem was that I thought I was better than everyone else. One night, when my team was batting, we had two outs and it was my turn to go up on deck. My coach told me to grab a helmet and get out there, but I told her there was no point since whoever was batting was going to strike out, and we'd be back on the field anyway. When my teammate did strike out, I was like, "See?" My coach was so mad with me that she benched me for the rest of the game, and BOY, was I humbled. I was mad too, but that was a turning point for me. I realized that what I had said was really mean and would have hurt my teammate's feelings if she had heard me. I sounded like a big jerk. I realized I had a big head about it, and it motivated me to change. I'm really grateful for that coach and what she did.

As with baseball, we can't get enough of board games. Usually my older brother, Josh, would win, but playing is like an addiction for us--we just kept coming back for more. haha This particular game of Monopoly we're playing here in the picture took several hours into the night to finish and Josh won....of course.

Around the same time as this picture was taken, I was dating Trapper. I did my absolute best NOT to show my true colors--my sore-loserness. We played racquetball and other games, but I always made sure to keep my poutiness under control, and we'd have lots of fun! Once we were married though, he was stuck with me whether he liked it or not, and it was time he saw just how bad I hate to lose. It was over a game of racquetball and let's just say it did not end well for the racquet. Some time after the incident, he said that if I couldn't learn to control my temper, he wouldn't let me go to our sons' (our hypothetical sons) soccer games. Since then I've been working on it.

Now that we have our very REAL sons, I've been doing my best to teach them to be good sports and even to be happy for those who win. Especially since Jackson loves to play baseball like his mama, it's important to me that he learns this principle.

I never exhibit anger or frustration in front of Jackson when we play a game. It's a different story when the boys are in bed and I'm playing Settlers of Catan or Ticket to Ride with Trapper and friends. I just pout a lot. That's all. HOWEVER, somehow, my little boy has inherited the "sore-loser gene." He's very happy when he wins and he'll gladly shake hands and say "Good game!" And he'll rub it in by saying, "You lose!" But when he loses, he gets mad and says, "No! I win first!!" I promise. I did not teach him that.

Today was no different. We played four games of "Chutes and Ladders." He won the first two and was ecstatic. To be a good example, I always cheer for him and tell him he did a great job, adn then we shake hands and say "Good game." On the third game, I won. I smiled and started to cheer for myself until I saw Jackson's face. His little hands clenched into fists and he stomped his knees on the floor and yelled, "No!! I win first!!" And with a dramatic finish, he threw himself on the floor. My feelings were actually kind of hurt. I was proud that I had won and his getting angry made me sad. In order to get his attention, I stuck out my bottom lip and hung my head down. He eventually got up and noticed I was sad. He didn't want to say sorry, but he stop whining and gave me a hug. I told him that he hurt my feelings by getting angry. I told him that if I should win next time, he needs to be happy for me and not get angry, 'cause it hurts my feelings. I told him that when someone wins a game, instead of getting angry, he should cheer for them and tell them they did a great job, because that will make them happy and it'll make him happy too. I asked him to say sorry and he did. Then we played one more game. When I noticed I was going to win, I was a little apprehensive. I just looked at him and wasn't sure whether or not I should smile. What he did next was the sweetest thing and it totally made my day. He forced a little smile and then threw his hands in the air and said, "Yay, Mommy! You won!" After that, he was grinning from ear to ear. So I smiled too and we both cheered! Then he came over and gave me a big hug and kept saying, "Yay, Mommy!" I told him "thank you" for his congratulations. I asked him if it made him happy that I was happy and he was like, "Oh, yeah!" I was so proud of him. I know he'll continue to get upset when he loses, but I have the hope that the consistency of little moments like this will all compound into one great lesson and keep him from turning into.....well, me! Isn't that what we want for our kids? To grow up having learned from our mistakes and becoming better than us? That's my hope. : )